نامة زير را يكي از كارمندان شركت نفت در مسجد سليمان براي رئيس آمريكائي خود مستر هميلتون (در سال 1350 ) نوشته است
:
Dear Mr. Hamilton
I, the undersigned, have worked in the NIOC in Masjed-Suleiman for three years. But since Mr. Ahmadi transferred here everything has changed. I don't know "what a wet wood I have sold him"' that from the very first day he has been "pulling the belt to my life". With all kinds of "cat dancing" he has tried to become the "eye and the light" of Mr. Wilson.
He made so much "mouse running", that finally Mr. Wilson "became donkey", and appointed Mr. Ahmadi as his right hand man, and told me to work "under his hand". Mr. Wilson promised that next year he would make me his right hand man, but "my eye did not drink water", and I knew that all these are "hat play", and he was trying to put a "hat on my head". I "put the seal of silence to my lips" and did not say anything. Since I am "thick skinned", I "did not go from face". Also I felt that Mr. Ahmadi was "head of donkey", and "had become hair of my nose" .
So one day "I hit the heart to the sea" and went to see Mr. Wilson. As soon as I entered his office, he looked at me from "head to foot" and asked what do you want?...I said, nothing sir, I have "crossed Rostam's seven Khans" to come and see you, and let you know that I am not happy working under Mr. Ahmadi, and if you'd be kind enough and give me another job! Mr. Wilson said, ok, go and work in the mail house. Now "bring the donkey and load the lima beans".. "Where me, and where mail house"?.. "What shit I ate"?... "I came to do savab, I made kabab"... "I went to prepare the eyebrow, I made the eye blind"! "with my own hands my sister was???".. I told Mr. Wilson that "our donkey did not have a tail from childhood". Mr. Wilson said,"you have asked and you have received", besides, we need a "work killed" employee like you in the mail house. But because of "eating so much snakes I have become a dragon", and I knew he was"putting watermelon under my arms". Knowing that this transfer was only "good for his aunt", I started begging him to forget that I have ever came to see him and forget my visit altogether. I said "you saw camel, you did not see camel"... But he was not "getting off the devil's donkey"... "What headache shall I give you"?.. He broke my bowls and pitchers", and now I am forced to go and work in the mail house with bunch of "blind and bald, height and half height" people. Imagine "how much my ass burns"!
Now Mr. Hamilton, "I turn around your head", you are my only hope and my "back and shelter".. "I swear you to the 14 innocents", please, "do some work for me"..."in the resurrection day I'll grasp you skirt"..."I have six head bread eater".. "I kiss your hands and legs".
Your servant
Asghar Babai
همه لطفش خوندن بزبان اصليه ولي :
آقاي هميلتون عزيز :
اينجانب امضاكننده نامه مدت سه ساله كه دارم براي NIOC (كنسرسيوم بينالمللي شركت نفت ) تو مسجد سليمان كار ميكنم . اما از وقتي آقاي احمدي منتقل شده اينجا همه چيز عوض شده . نميدونم چه هيزم تري بهش فروختم كه از همون روز اول شلاق كشيد به زندگيمون (؟) با اين گربه رقصونيا ميخواست نورچشم آقاي ويلسون بشه ....
اينقده موش دووند تا بالاخره مستر ويلسون خر شد و اونو دست راست خودش كرد و به من گفت كه زيردست اون كار كنم . آقاي ويلسون به من قول داد كه سال بعد منو دست راست خودش ميكنه ، اما چشم من آب نميخوره و ميدونم اين حرفا كلاه بازيه و ميخواد سر من كلاه بذاره .
من مهر سكوت رو لبام زدم و هيچي نگفتم . اما از اونجائي كه من پوستم كلفته و به اين آسونيا از رو نميرم و ضمناً حس ميكردم اين آقاي احمدي سرخره و موي دماغ من ؛ بنابراين يه روز دل به دريا زدم و رفتم ديدن آقاي ويلسون . بمحض اينكه وارد دفترش شدم ، يه نيگا به سرتا پام انداخت و ازم پرسيد چيكار دارم ؟ گفتم : هيچي آقا ، من از هفت خان رستم گذشتم تا بيام خدمتتون و عرض كنم كه از كار كردن زيردست آقاي احمدي راضي نيستم و ازتون ميخوام يه مرحمتي كنين و يه كار ديگه بهم بدين . آقاي ويلسون گفت بسيار خوب ، برو تو پستخونه كار كن !!!
حالا خر بيار و باقالي بار كن ..... من كجا پستخونه كجا ؟.... چه گهي خوردم ؟.... اومدم ثواب كنم كباب شدم ...... خواستم ابروشو درست كنم زدم چشش رو كور كردم ...... با دستاي خودم خوار خودمو ......
به مستر ويلسون گفتم : آقا جون خر ما از كرهگي دم نداشت !.... مستر ويلسون گفت : تو چيزي خواستي و بهشم رسيدي(؟) ، از اين گذشته ما تو پستخونه به يه آدم كاركشته مث تو نياز داريم .
اما از اونجا كه ما مار خورديم تا افعي شديم ، فهميدم داره هندونه زيربغل ما ميذاره و ديدم كه اين انتقال فقط واسه عمهش خوبه !
اين بود كه شروع كردم به عزوجز و ازش خواستم كل جريان اومدن و ديدن ما رو نديد بگيره و خلاصه : شتر ديدي نديدي ... اما اون از خر شيطون پياده نشد كه نشد ...... چه دردسرتون بدم ... اون همه كاسه كوزه ها رو سر ما شكست و حالا من از سر اجبار افتادم ميون يه مشت آدم كور و كچل قد و نيمقد تو پستخونه ...... تصور كنين چه كوني از من داره ميسوزه !!
آقاي ويلسون دور سرت بگردم ، شما الان تنها اميد و پشت و پناه من هستين .... تو رو به چارده معصوم قسم ميدم يه كاري واسه ما بكن ..... اون دنيا دامنتو ميگيرم ها ..... من شيش سر نون خور دارم .... دست و پاتو ميبوسم ......
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ferelo در چهارشنبه دوم خرداد 1386
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